This is my / our story-

I am relatively new to the term “Neurodiversity” but existing as a neurodiverse (Autistic, ADHD, PDA profile) woman has also been the story of my life.

My son is the reason I am here today with this mission of LOVE in my heart :)

I came to motherhood late in life. I had my boy and immediately it became apparent to me that life was never going to be the same.

My son struggled with all the things- eating, sleeping, clothing, smells, sounds, being near others, leaving our home, everything.

He was vibrating with an energy that seemed to be too much for his tiny body to hold.

He struggled intensely…

I struggled intensely...

I was trying to hold on to the conditioned ideas of how a mother and a child should “be and he was trying to teach me that all of those ideas had to go for us to survive and eventually even THRIVE.

Thankfully he was relentless in the best of ways.

After so much struggle (I am extremely stubborn) I decided to start letting go…of the ideas about what makes a good parent…a good child…a good life.

I began to just look at my son. To look without as much fear and to see the beauty in who he was just as he was in that moment. No comparisons. No trying to predict the future. Just the moment we were in.

As I looked at my son as he was in each moment, I began to trust myself and to trust him and our wisdom - which to be totally honest was not easy- it literally almost killed me (that is an entirely different story for another time).

I realized that I needed to look at myself with the same loving compassion and acceptance that I was turning towards my son.

As I learned to be with what we were-our actual reality-it was as if a mirror that had been “fogged up” became clear bit by bit.

As the fog dissipated, I was left looking at my face. At my own struggles that had been buried behind years of masking to survive.

I realized that we would need to dismantle our world… to let go of the life I knew in order to create one that actually suited us. It was brutal…but I let go.

I let go of my business, I let go of my abundance, I let go of most of my family, I let go of my friends, I let go of any semblance of health I had, I let go of showering!!, I let go of feeling the sun on my face…I let go of everything but the love I had for my son.

We could not engage in the “typical” path as my son was adamantly opposed (PDA) and I opted to not participate in anything he did not resonate with.

I felt that the answer we needed was something else…though at the time I did not know what that something else was…

I went on a solo search. It was lonely and terrifying but somehow better than the alternative…

Over time I found support in lived experience. I found support in leaning into the messages my vibrating nervous systems told me. I found support in the simple and pure acceptance of it all- no matter how insane it looked. More importantly I found support in LOVE. The love that comes from seeing and feeling what is and learning how to hold it and to love it. To find the beauty in it.

I let go of expectations, of judgement and of comparison. We let go of clothing and showers (yes still sometimes- pee uuuu).

We let go of trying to be something we are not.

We leaned into slow no demand days, meditation, frequency, sound and doing things with our hands and bodies that made us happy.

We got outside a bit eventually- albeit both of us in full troll costumes walking around our neighborhood in July!! (remember we let go of friends so why not?!)

Through this process we learned to live the life we were meant to be living- together…slowly…stinky and all :)

I know now that I had a little teacher, a relentless one who came into this world knowing what truly matters in this life. Acceptance. Connection. Freedom.

I am so grateful for his wisdom.

In one of my many hours in meditation- I saw a vision of a space- a space with a group of people that were like us. Doing the things they liked just as they liked to do them…showered or not :)

A place that felt SAFE …a chosen family…a place to come just as you are and stay just as long as you like.

For me this community center is that place. It is a symbol of LOVE. A symbol of POSSIBILITY. A symbol of the power of CONNECTION.

Connection to self, connection to the power of the quantum field and connection to others…kindred souls…chosen family :)

I cannot wait to see how this group of generous, loving, capable and powerful individuals change the world… encounter by encounter. It is happening already.

I am so beyond grateful for each of you and your beautiful brave and HUGE hearts.

I could not be more excited about our endeavor here…so…

Here we go! Let’s change the world one encounter at a time. And remember… theNCC LOVES YOU